This SFGN reporter, with an ironic nickname of Goldilocks, traveled a long way to an exotic tropical island. He arrived late at night and immediately fell asleep in his comfortable, air-conditioned room at the Oasis Guest House. There, he dreamed of walking out the door of his room to swim in a secluded pool and relax in the hot tub. In the morning of his dream, he went to have a complimentary breakfast surrounded by hot bears. Each bear or bear couple had their own plans for the day, no doubt taking advantage of all the bear discounts that were being offered all over the island.
Goldilocks then wandered down the street to the Island House for Men. What he saw there could only happen in a fairy tale or a dream: a large swimming pool filled with all kinds of hot bears. There were papa bears, queen bears, and even young cub bears. Wherever he looked, there were more and more bears. There were big rotund bears, hot and bothered bears, sexy muscle bears, cute teddy bears and even bare bottom bears. So many bears that just about anyone could find a bear that’s just right for him.
The dream continued into the evening, when Goldilocks went to eat at the Braza Lena Brazilian Steakhouse. Again surrounded by bears, he had one of the best meals of his life. It was all you can eat with incredible side dishes and a salad bar. The meat was, well, dreamlike. The Caipirinha was strong and delicious, as a real drink should be. Mmm…more Caipirinha please… and the dream spun on.
There were all sorts of activities for the bears to take part in, like a Dirty Fur Foam Party at the Bourbon Street Pub and parties like the Let the Fur Fly Tea Dance, the Pool Party and Pig Roast, the Bear-e-Oke, the Bear Drag Show, the Ruff Riders Pool Party and several Happy Ending Parties.
It was all too much for Goldilocks, who had to pinch himself to try and wake up. But when he did, he found that it wasn’t a dream at all. It all happened this weekend at the 2011 Key West Bear Fest.
The moral of the story is: When bears get together, it’s like a dream come true.