Apple has released its newest operating system for the iPhone simply called iOS 10. It’s being touted as the best iOS release ever! Which means the first 9 times they touted that were lies.

On June 13, the Cupertino company presented all the newest features on stage with a slightly-cheesy “Top 10 Countdown.” Using phrases such as Redesigned, Rich, Quick Interaction, and Expanded was not only vague but reminded me of the description for the new Fleshlight. So I’m not going to confuse you with these indistinct updates. I weeded through the boring updates like the News App and HomeKit to bring you a top 10 list of the new features to look forward to.


Transcribe Voicemail

No longer will you have to listen to voicemails, because the new iOS will transcribe them into a simple text format you can read and delete. I just can’t wait to see how it will transcribe the voicemails from drunk friends that I can barely understand.


Upgraded Siri

Let’s face it, we’ve had an easier experience conversing with people in a foreign country than speaking with Siri. “Siri, where can I shop for a new bathtub?…Giving directions to the nearest bathhouse.” With iOS 10, the computer voice assistant should be smarter and more innovative.


Deleting Default Apps

Since the first iPhone, we’ve had to look at that annoying Stocks app when most of us either don’t care or don’t own stocks. We will now be allowed to delete most of these apps that come pre-installed on your phone. Besides Stocks, over 20 other apps can be removed such as Calendar, FaceTime, Maps, Music, Podcasts, and Reminders.


Those Adorable Emojis

Attendees of the Apple presentation gave an applause at the news of bigger emojis. Why don’t I get an applause from guys when I get bigger? Anyways. Besides more choices for emojis, there will be suggestions in your text of when to use an emoji. So maybe Grandma will stop sending the “laughing/crying” emoji during sad news.


Apple Music

Lyrics are finally being added to your favorite music! Did you know Justin Timberlake says “Just put your hand on the glass” in Mirrors? I always thought he said “Just put your hand on my ass.”


Markup Photos

Add text or draw all over your pictures without permission from a parent.


GIFs/Pictures/Videos in iMessaging

A search feature has been implemented that offers you the ability to add funny GIFs, pictures, or videos. Or you could send what most of us intend to send…porn.


Phone Call Screening

Whoever thought when Gwen Stefani sang about screening her phone calls, that our phones would be able to do it for us? Now, your iPhone will show if an unknown phone call could be from a solicitor.


Dude, Where’s My Car?

Siri will now remember where your car is and give you directions (if your car is equipped with bluetooth). If only I could find my keys now…


Sleep Reminders

Not getting enough sleep? I know this sounds like the beginning of a mattress commercial, but it’s not! Tell your Alarm app how many hours of sleep you need every night and what time you have to wake up. Then the new iOS will send reminders when it’s time to go to bed. Much easier than deal with a nagging husband.


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