Forget what the pundits are not telling you. You have me.
I have courage.
I will walk the line.
We have done it.
We have Wisconsin, we will hold Nevada, and Michigan, dear Michigan, is ours.
Even without Florida, North Carolina, or Georgia, we have done it.
It’s Bye, Don.
We have won.
Don't worry about the recounts. There aren't any hanging chads.
No one will be storming the Dade County canvassing office. Alfred Spellman will have to work on a different film.
So here are some lessons from a long night from someone who learned first of all, he can't do all-nighters anymore.
The Lessons of 2020
1. Tens of millions of Americans looked at where this country is right now and somehow amazingly voted for more of the same. This is not just a difference in politics or perspectives. This is a difference of principles. We are truly the Disunited States of Pandemica.
2. Like it or not, even literate Americans will drink the Kool-Aid and follow their leader. Like Don Quixote, they will march into hell for what they believe to be a heavenly cause. Hitler was elected. So was Trump. Hate happens when good people remain silent in the face of evil.
3. Every voter counts. Your voice matters. Set your dreams upon a star. If a QAnon follower can win a congressional seat, so can you. The next thing you know, a gay man will even become a candidate for president.
4. Take none of your freedoms for granted. Freedom is something you guard and protect 24/7, like your home, family, and pets. Cherish it. Nourish it. Plant it. Grow it. Be willing to fight for it, even if it means being a poll watcher in Arkansas.
5. There is an axiom you learned in high school. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you just can’t fool all the people all of the time. Water seeks its own level. Sorry, Donald. Eventually, sewage rots and smells, even if it is gilded with gold.
6. The ones who bitch most about the game being fixed are the ones who inevitably dropped the ball. Enough of this Whiner-in-Chief. The Presidency is a place where the buck stops, not where crying starts.
7. Donald Trump is living proof of my maxim that “the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.” He is a sore loser. America hates sore losers. We always have. Good riddance.
8. Like the Pony Express, the post office turned out to be the good guys. There were no red or blue mail trucks. They were all red, white, and blue, and if it were not for doctors and nurses, the postal service workers of America would be my nominees for our citizens of the year.
9. Necessity is indeed the mother of invention. Without a deadly pandemic, we would have neither Telehealth or mail-in-balloting. Now both are part of America’s future forever.
10. Like Willie Nelson, for 45 years, I have been saying cannabis should be legal. Now every American who gets to vote on it agrees. Five more states Tuesday. The drug war is over. It may be the only thing red and blue voters agree upon. Let's all go smoke a joint.
As one Facebook poster wrote, “Under Donald Trump, the presidency has been a factory of falsehoods, churning out distortions, conspiracy theories and brazen lies at an assembly line pace…”
History has now caught up with Donald Trump. By the time you read this, Joe Biden will have won Wisconsin and Michigan, and enough electoral votes to get him sworn in as president on January 20, 2021.
Don’t expect Donald Trump to be there to pass the baton. At your expense, with taxpayer dollars, he will be holding a rally somewhere, inaugurating his 2024 campaign.
While many of us would like to see him swept into the dustbin of history, if he can stay healthy, he may yet again become a formidable Republican presidential candidate in the year 2024. Who cares? We can worry about it then.
During his remaining term, Donald Trump will not go gently into the good night. He will wreak havoc on the courts and in the government. The petulant child will be purposely vindictive and recalcitrant, dragged kicking and screaming his way through Twitter and the courts. Doesn't matter. Won't work.
From pillaging the national treasury to pardoning friends for pay, there is no telling what conduct he might engage in that can and will threaten the national security of the United States. But ding dong, the witch is proverbially dead.
No, the Blue team has not won the Senate, but America has won sanity and serenity in the White House. America can now refocus its senses on science and reality — not a reality TV star gone amok.
Joe Biden’s dignity and decency will initiate an era of goodwill; of healing and harmony we so desperately need in our lives. Grace and goodness are moving back into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
And our friends at Fox News, who have courageously exercised independence these past 24 hours, can go back to doing what they do best: bashing a president they can't stand, instead of sucking up to one they loved.
I can't wait.
See you in D.C. in January.