Beware all those who think that the court jester is but just a fool — for that fool is he who is in charge.

Here in our magical land of Wilton Manors all is not in harmony. This week saw daily life grind to a halt throughout the realm due to the raucous display over Public Comments brought on by the hysteria of local Eastside titled land barons and baronesses.

Up in arms where these barons of property to defend and protect themselves from the immediate danger of invasion from the barbaric hordes of the TOC tribes.  

As they stood around court gossiping the tales that have spread far and wide, they clamored to have their voices heard. “You must save us all from total ruin,” they pleaded. “You must save our way of life,” they cried. The cries grew louder as the day went on, pleads for help, cries of panic.

The King’s advisors scurried around to gather news and information on what was behind the court’s toiled and agitated state on what should be another fine day here in The Manors.

“I was told that a 30-story structure was going next to my manor house,” one nobleman was overheard saying. “Well I was told that a 36-story sun-blocking monolith was what was to be built in front of my manor,” stated another noble. 

As the King’s advisors moved around the room, the tales began to have a similar cadence, one that told the tale of over-development, extremely tall structures that would block the sun, destruction of existing infrastructure, and unimaginable tales of clogged roadways and canals throughout the land.

Who could be spreading such craziness? What was the source of such misinformation? Who is behind such deceitfulness?

The King’s advisors needed to find out quickly and report back before this growing tide of discontent and misinformation got out of control and could spiral into social unrest.

The wise advisors did not have to look far to see who was feeding the misinformation to the lords and ladies of the land. All fingers pointed to the court jester — the King’s confidant himself, the lord of the Eastside realm, none other than Sir John the Planner.

Yes my fellow Manorites, I too was taken aback by such accusations. No, there must be some mistake. How can it be true? How can this court jester who runs around telling silly tales all day be behind such a diabolical plot to reign in the kingdom and to strip away years of strategic planning that would preserve future generations within the realm?

But yet this tale is to be true. Sir John The Planner laid out tales of unimaginable growth, of incomprehensible intrusion to the existing way of life, with many falling under his intoxicating lure. Sir John’s plan was to prevent those in powerful positions from making correct choices on the future of the realm.

Feed the court misinformation and get them all worked up in a frenzy fed by fear.  All this from the Court Jester?  All this from the fool? No, not a fool, but perhaps the smartest of all within the realm.

Who else but the smartest of the land can unfailingly bring to a halt every major planning project within the Eastside realm?  Who but the cleverest of all the land can stop the King and advisors in their tracks, bring postponement and wreck such havoc over the strategic planning many years in the making? Who can gather the masses into the Central Square and demand action based on lies, misinformation, and falsehoods so continuously over the years with such great effectiveness?

Yes my friends, all by the Court Jester, laugh no more, for the fool is he who is in charge.

Thankfully some cracks are beginning to show at the palace gates. Two members of the King’s Planning Council, Lord Flint and Sir Molinet voiced the truth for all to hear beyond the walls of the court. Calling the Court Jester out in public for his fear-mongering, his disingenuous tale of immediate destruction and the many campaigns over the years of misinformation, laid bare for all to hear.  

The ripples of power throughout the court were on display at the King’s Council of Advisors meeting this past night. Sir Gary was quick to defend the Court Jester, to take up in his defense. “We need more time,” “We need my input,” “We need to punish those on the Planning Council for their outspoken heresy of truth-telling,” is what this timeworn advisor bellowed repeatedly.

The only thing left for us gallant, optimistic assembly of courtiers to do now is to gather around our two brave noblemen on the Planning Council and stop the cries for revenge. Quell the rising chants calling for retribution. Praise the truth, applaud those who speak with righteousness, honor those who step up gallantly, and defend until our deaths the right for truth and justice to prevail from waterway to waterway, throughout the land, forever assuring that life will always be just better here.

Sal Torre has been a columnist for the Wilton Manors Gazette since its inception. Sal has served on the Wilton Drive Task Force, Budget Review Advisory Board, and Charter Review Board, among others. Sal is currently President of the Westside Association of Wilton Manors and Secretary for the Friend of the Wilton Manors Library. He is employed with Broward County in the Human Services Division.