Letter to the Editor: Reader Takes Issue With Masculine and Feminine Stereotypes

Letter to The Editor:

I have something that is disturbing and down-right upsetting. Why is the gay community segregating other fellow homosexuals by category of masc and fem?

Is one "gay" more "gay" or undesirable than the other? Allegedly the answer sadly is yes, however false. I will be turning 30 this July, have never dated another outed gay person. I have to say I have thick skin, but I am tired of the abuse.

I walk out my door everyday knowing people stare and place judgment. So like anyone else would, I try to find refuge with a community that should accept me. There is always a negative comment or a nasty face in our own community who ruins my safe zone.

I no longer feel that I should be quiet. We ask for equality, but then don't offer it. I understand everyone has a preference when it comes to dating: A simple "No thank you" would suffice.

The funny thing is that I always land and date, unfortunately, every gay man's fantasy — straight men. Yes the straight, curious, and closeted “str8” men.

Regardless, no one is better or more macho than another. We all have differences, which makes the world colorful. To simply hurt another person intentionally is morally wrong, and I won't stand for it anymore.

I do not think that it's a phase, nor an act to get attention. I believe we were made this way for a reason. If I can help one other person who has or will face this same issue, I will stop this pursuit, however I don't think it will happen overnight. Like our mothers said, "Treat others the way you wish to be treated.”

I know who I am and I will never grow chest hair or have huge muscles, but I will stand up for my right to be who I am on the inside and out. I will not pretend to be someone I am not, nor will I allow this hypocrisy to continue.

The war has started!

I will not stop until I am heard from both "sides." The gay dating scene is like a bunch of school yard bullies — dissing one another to feel more masculine. Guess what, I have bigger balls than most. I have to live in my vessel watching all the false accusations being placed on me, and keep my head high and disposition positive. Let's stand up together, and fix this mess before it's gets out of hand.

Joshua M. Whitelaw
North Miami Beach


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