I’m out. Not out like a lost dog; out like a rocket slipping through the ozone skin of the atmosphere.

Out like a scream, like a pent-up bullet.

Coming home for spring break made me apprehensive as usual. I packed my jeans and sweaters; unassuming clothing, like I was smuggling something. I had the thought of telling them. After all, an unusual amount of drama usually accompanies a visit home in my family.

I had originally planned to not say anything, hopeful for a spring break with minimal revelations, but one night at the dinner table my mom asked me about the articles. These articles, specifically.

When I was still closeted to my parents I knew subtlety was probably my best option for the time being. However, for those who know me, I am not a subtle person. I wanted to catalog my experiences and I didn’t want to be quiet.

So, in my efforts to remain temporarily closeted to my family, I decided to write a series of published articles on my gender. Genius, I know.

But the thing is, I don’t regret it. At one point in writing these articles I had the thought that my parents would see them, but at the same moment I realized I didn’t care. I love my parents, but I realized I was letting the fear of their reaction hinder the exploration of my gender. I was ready for the other shoe to drop. I was ready to come out.

And it went well.

My mom and stepfather were understandably confused but loving and supportive. My dad and stepmom accepted me with open arms. They read every article I posted, and the stories did most of the talking.

I always speak better with words. I think it’s because I am able to spend time on what I want to say. So, to my family reading this, allow me to say what I didn’t know how to say aloud.

Mom, I love you. You are the single strongest woman I have ever met. If I gain any amount of your strength in this life, I know I can handle whatever is waiting. Dad, I love you. You’ve taught me that patience is a superpower and much more valuable than it seems. Stepmom, I love you. You’ve shown me what a passionate life looks like. Stepdad, I love you. You’ve shown me the impact of spiritual growth.

I’ve done a lot of thinking. For the past year, I have been out to those near me as non-binary. It hurt me to not be able to tell you, but I needed to find the right time. I know there’s going to be a lot of questions and a pretty heavy adjustment period. But even with all of the changes, I am still Avraham. The future may be a bit complicated, but your love and willingness to understand makes me feel safe. I am beyond lucky to have that.

To my family, I love you. To those still closeted, it’s a process, and never apologize for waiting for the right time. There is no correct way to come out. Just know that there are people who love you, and support is closer than you ever think.


Avraham Forrest is a writer from Indiana. They attend Indiana University. In their spare time they enjoy baking and jogging. Follow on Instagram @avraham_forrest.


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