Queer Query: Condo Zodiac - My Celestial Journey

A gender neutral short story

Author’s Note: Rodrigo is the type of author who wants zir audience to enter zir world, and enjoy what it has to offer. Ze uses a gender-neutral method to make sure anyone can relate to the narrator, of any gender identity. With the use of gender neutral pronouns, the reader will venture into this new world, and will not be tied to zir objective view.

Gender-neutral pronouns are for those who don't identify themselves as either male or female. Rodrigo is using gender-neutral pronouns for the celestial zodiac signs, such as this Aries story. A guide to gender-neutral pronouns for this story, for those unfamilliar with them: Ze is He/She, Zem is Him/Her, and Zir is His/Her.

With gender-neutral pronouns, the reader can feel as attached to the zodiac encounters just as the narrator does as this story. Rodrigo wishes you all to enjoy this short story that ze created for you.

I am wanted.

By zem. Ze won me over as if I were some prize. This Aries entity is the first partner I take to bed where I’m self-aware. Self-aware of what, you ask? The first time I am self-aware of this experiment I started in my head: Which zodiac is the best in bed?  

I just realized I am still near zirs apartment. How I got here is none of my concern, but getting out of here alive is my first priority. All I remember was being harassed at the club by some stranger who wouldn’t stop following me. The stranger got mad because I didn’t dance with him, and he started to touch me. Then ze came to my rescue like a knight in shining armor.

Well, actually, in a red plaid shirt, black skinny jeans, and some nice kicks. Ze had short, red, spiked-up hair, a defining jaw line, and domineering eyes. Within moments, ze punched the stranger harassing me. In one second, everyone turned around to see what had happened. The world stopped, and the spotlight was on me, the stranger laying flat on the ground, and ze.

Ze grabbed my hand, and we ran out of the scene. We could hear the stranger getting up, and chasing us through the crowd. Lucky for me, my knight of the night knows the area, and we ended up in some parking garage. The stranger couldn’t find us now.

“Thanks for saving me and all, but I should get going home.” I told zem.

As I started to walk away to look for an exit in this dark garage, ze grabbed my hand again.

“Let me give you a ride home. You look a little too tipsy to find it on your own,” ze says to me.

“I don’t want to put you through so much. I will just call a cab, and-” As I was suggesting this, ze shut me up by kissing my hand.

“I want to take you home,” ze interrupted me. I was a little bit tipsy, and by the feeling ze was emitting, there looked like no way I could have gone home by myself.

“Where is your car?” I asked.

“On the second floor. There isn’t an elevator, so let’s go through the stairs.” As I walked towards the stairs, ze picks me up and carries me all the way to zir car. Ze places me there as if some trophy ze won. The drive is silent.

We end up at their apartment, located within some strange building on the first floor. The building was so dark.

“Just follow me. I know this place by the back of my hand.” I am making all these weird turns, and we suddenly stop. Ze lets go of my hand, and I feel all lost in this dark room, and I can’t see anything. I am standing still, being cautious.

“Okay, this isn’t funny. I want to go to home and sleep.” As I am saying this, ze suddenly pushes me with all of their force and I fall onto a bed. Ze gets on the bed and turns me around, before covering my mouth with zirs gentle fingers.

“There is no reason to sleep yet. If you’re looking for humor, I will make you laugh.” Ze overwhelmed my senses all at once, in a delightful way: ze started kissing me, stopping in between to blow raspberries on my stomach, and then tickling me. All three made me laugh.

As I was laughing, I noticed my clothes were falling beside us on the floor. Ze must have done this while distracting me. Out of nowhere, I hear this loud bell ring. It chimed three times. Magic happened within that timeframe, and the rest isn’t to be discussed. Now I am there on their bed, and it's 12:34 p.m.

I felt sore, yet rejuvenated. I looked at them. Ze has such a beautiful mouth, and a nice build from top to bottom. I thought I won the jackpot. I would have stayed a little longer, except zir apartment intimidated me.

Ze has a shelf with all the trophies ze won since kindergarten, for almost every main sport. One for basketball, soccer, football, baseball, tennis, hockey and many more. Zir gym equipment was all over the place. Although, zir desk looked like it is in good condition.

The trashcan was filled with protein shakes, and ingredients to make protein shakes. All this protein they took paid off, for they have a perfect, lean build. Ze isn’t some muscle head who looks like the thumb on your hand. If I were to have some sort of relationship with this person, I would probably be a health nut. Maybe in better shape.

I am at the peak of their mountain right now, zirs habitat, and I have to climb back down. I must leave quietly, to prevent a single rockslide from happening around me. I cannot get attached. So I left the apartment while they were in the shower, and I got a cab to take me home. Which I thank you for, by the way. Thank you for listening to me, kind cab driver. Even though you’re not speaking. Rough day?

Just as I thought I left the mountain safe and sound, I got a text that caused a huge avalanche in my psyche. Let me read it aloud to you.

‘Last night was magical here at my place. Next time you leave, I want a goodbye kiss from you, doll face. Stay safe and don’t get hurt. I won’t be able to rescue you all the time.’

How did ze get my number, you wonder? Ze probably asked me last night, and I said yes. Why? Because when an Aries wants something, ze gets it. Looks like I left their mountain with one question. Oh, bother. I wanted to prevent this. Now I’m curious: what was zir name?

Oh, it’s my stop now? Thanks again, really. Here’s a tip.

Rodrigo is an individual who always lives in the moment. Ze loves to listen to stories, and is an art lover. Ze follows the flow of life, even if ze doesn't know where it is going.


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