Experience, they say, is the best teacher.
Once you've done something, you can say you like it and you'll do it again or not. The subject comes with a different viewpoint, once you've gotten a little experience with it. You're wiser, more confident. As in the new book "I Have Something to Tell You" by Chasten Buttigieg, you'll have the chops to offer valid advice.
If you'd have asked 8-year-old Chasten Buttigieg what life was like, he probably would've told you about his big brothers and how wild and daring they were. He would've said he didn't have many friends and that he loved his parents. He wouldn't have told you about being gay, though, because he had no frame of reference, no experience, or role models. He just knew then that he was "different."
A year later, he watched Will & Grace on TV for the first time, and it was hilarious but he had to be careful. Already, he understood that being "someone 'like that'" had to be hidden. He watched Ellen and he was sure that "gay people weren't found in places" like his Northern Michigan home town.
For much of his childhood, Buttigieg says he was bullied, but being lonely was worse. He was awkward, but he found his happy place in theater. "In school," he says, "I felt a constant tug-of-war between where I was and where I wanted to be," between authenticity and pretending. A year as a high school senior exchange student in gay-friendly Germany, then a "safe space" in college in Wisconsin clarified many things and helped him gain confidence and "broaden [his] perspective."
By the time he met the man he calls Peter, "I felt at ease to present myself in ways I hadn't felt comfortable doing..."
Still, he says, things may be better or they may be worse, "We've got a long way to go, but you, the reader, get to be a part of that promising future."
Filled with an abundance of dad jokes and a casual, chatty tone that never once feels pushy or overbearing, "I Have Something to Tell You" may seem like deja vu for good reason. This gently altered version of a 2020 memoir, meant for kids ages 12 and up, says all the right things in a surprisingly paternal way.
And yet, none of it's preachy, or even stern.
Though there are brief peeks at his adult life on the campaign trail with his husband, now-Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, the heart of author Chasten Buttigieg's book is all memoir, set in a loving household in a small town. It's lightly humorous but not trite; to this, Buttigieg adds a layer of subtle advice, and genuineness to a tale that's familiar to adults and will appeal to young, still-figuring-it-out teens.
You can expect a "you are not alone" message in a book like this, but it comes with an upbeat, fatherly calm. For a teen who needs that, reading "I Have Something to Tell You" will be a good experience.
"I Have Something to Tell You" (For Young Adults) by Chasten Buttigieg
c.2023, Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing $18.99 209 pages