Mirror

  • Mirror: Gays Against Guns - How the Pulse tragedy launched a new movement

    What started out as a Facebook discussion morphed into an entire movement.

  • Mirror: Hot Wheels

    The New York real estate developer was hooked after getting his first Vespa scooter as a teen. He began collecting all sorts of motorized vehicles — from scooters, motorcycles, classic automobiles and expensive sports cars to fantasy vehicles from television and the movies—more than 1000 in all. 

  • Mirror: Is BDSM a Sexual Orientation?

    Is BDSM a sexual orientation? Jillian Keenan thinks so.

  • Mirror: Jamaica – Still a Hotbed of Hate Against LGBT People

    Jamaica — it’s an island paradise, splashed across television ads, billboards and brochures, promising a vacation that one will never forget.

  • Mirror: Top Honeymoon Destinations

    With same-sex marriage legal for several years now, millions of gay, lesbian and trans couples are adding a honeymoon to their wedding plans. As recently as 2014, only about 55 percent of same-sex couples went on a honeymoon after their wedding ceremony, according to Community Marketing & Insights (CM&I), a San Francisco-based market research firm that tracks LGBT travel trends. 

  • Muslim and Gay: One gay Muslim shares his story of coming out

    It was the theater that drove him away from religion, and it was the theater that brought him back.

    Ramy Eletreby, a writer and performer living in Los Angeles, struggled for years with being Muslim and a gay man after being outed in a newspaper article.

    Aspiring to be an actor, Eletreby accepted the role of a gay Muslim man in the play "A Long Bridge Over Deep Waters." Even before opening night, it was considered controversial by the Muslim community because of his character. In fact, two actors left the production after struggling to reconcile their faith with the character in the play, and a third actor left for allegedly similar reasons, according to the Los Angeles Times.

    With all the brouhaha, the newspaper wrote an article in June 2005 and interviewed Eletreby about it -- including that he really is gay.

    “It turned into an entire call for the Muslim community to boycott this play because we’re perpetuating things that they didn’t support,” he told the Mirror. “[The LA Times] asked why I was willing to play the character and basically I outed myself.”

    This was news to his family and his community -- while he doesn’t regret coming out, he does admit he should have had a sit down with his family first to let them know ahead of time. Eletreby said people were shocked, but rather than be angry at him, people refused to believe it could be true.

    “It was a lot of not really wanting to believe in its truth or validity because you can't be gay. There’s this belief that God does not create people that way and you choose to be this way. We know that you are not gay, but yet you seem to believe that you are gay,” he explained.

    “A lot of people thought I was confused or influenced or I was in need of some psychological help,” he said. “I didn’t like the narrative around what was happening, that I was being treated like I was a mental case.”

    Advocacy for LGBT people is relatively new within the Muslim world. In 1997, the Al-Fatiha Foundation was founded as an advocacy group by Faisal Alam, an out Pakistani-American, when he was just 19. In 2001, the terrorist group Al-Muhajiroun in the United Kingdom allegedly put out a fatwa, calling the group apostates and claiming the homosexual acts are punishable by death, according to the Washington Blade.

    "The very existence of Al-Fatiha is illegitimate and the members of this organization are apostates. Never will such an organization be tolerated in Islam and never will the disease which it calls for be affiliated with a true Islamic society or individual. The Islamic ruling for such acts is death.”

    The group carried on, but unfortunately when Alam stepped down in 2005, the group was unable to keep going. One of the largest groups representing LGBT Muslims today, the Muslim Alliance for Sexual and Gender Diversity, founded in 2013, hosts an annual retreat, the Retreat for LGBTQ Muslims and Partners.

    After the LA Times article, Eletreby isolated himself from others -- or “run away” as he described it -- as he tried to come to terms with being both gay and a practicing Muslim. He stopped communicating with other Muslims, didn’t go to mosque, and basically stopped practicing the religion that had been a part of his life for so long. He says he wasn’t cut out, but he cut himself out in an act of “self preservation.”

    Instead, Eletreby went to the other end of the spectrum and considered himself to be an atheist and displayed anger towards all organized religion. He believes this was a part of the grieving process of losing Islam.

    “I eventually started missing some of the spirituality that had been a huge part of my life growing up. I missed fasting during Ramadan and I missed the feeling of community,” he said. “It was a part of my identity, so to also deny that for many years was tough.”

    It was the stage that helped him get it back.

    While in graduate school in New York City, he went to a play with a friend in the East Village where two LGBT Muslim women were a part of the play. They talked about living their life and spirituality, moving Eletreby to tears.

    “I was forever changed,” he said. “It was beautiful to see people come to a place of reconciliation because in my life, it was a separation. It was very comforting. It was like, I can’t believe I never imagined this for myself. It could have been mine this whole time. I found the warm blanket that I was looking for.”

    While in New York, he was also exposed to a community of out Muslim people, something he didn’t have in Los Angeles. It was a growing process that helped him see that he could successfully be a gay man and a Muslim at the same time.

    Today, Eletreby is back living in Los Angeles and is not a part of a religious community, but has created his own way of worship. He tries to read the Quran every night before bed and believes that his own personal relationship with God is what matters, rather than relying on sermons from imams. Also, he has reestablished a good relationship with his family.

    “I’m not seeking any justification or validation from religious leaders, and it’s liberating,” he said. “The only validation I need is between me and God, and I’m working really hard to establish that and make sure that connection is strong.”

    What would he tell other young Muslims who might be feeling confused?

    “Patience is one of the things that is most stressed in the Koran, too, in our faith. To be able to live life with patience, you can’t always get what you want, you can’t always have it now, as long as you are steadfast and true that you are on the right path, you’d be surprised as to what comes along.”

  • My day at the American Fine Wine Competition

    “Tell me what you drink, and I will tell you what you are.”

  • National Black Justice Coalition

    Black LGBT people need their voices heard too

  • New Indie Film ‘Seek’ Explores Gay Nightlight And Its Diversity

    Out writer/director Eric Henry’s debut film, “Seek,”is an engaging drama about Evan (Adrian Shepherd-Gawinski), a young man who chronicles the queer community for a local gay magazine. He interviews various drag queens, cross dressers, and fetishists for his work.

  • Nine Gay Ways to Become Richer

    Do you know where your money goes, are you carrying too much debt or would you like to have some freedom from worrying about your money? Saving does not mean going without, using coupons or only buying on sale; though the latter two are great options.

  • On Exhibit: Museums & Galleries

  • Op-Ed: Bears, Otters or Wolves…Oh My! But What Am I?

    My friend and I were recently sitting at the bar hanging out. The topic of bears vs. cubs came up and I had to explain that I am not nearly as big as a bear, nor am I old enough to be a bear, so I suppose I fit more into the cub category because I do have a furry chest.

  • Op-Ed: Mirror, Mirror, Is In Your Halls

    This week, SFGN is proud to share with you the release and publication of our Fall Mirror, the arts and entertainment edition, featuring Sir Elton John on the cover.

  • Op-Ed: My First Time

    Everyone remembers the first time they had sex. It sticks in your memory and can help shape future sexual desires and preferences.

  • Op-Ed: Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening

    Once again, the Mirror reflects our lives.

  • OpEd: All the World’s A Stage

    “Let me be that I am and seek not to alter me.”? William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing

  • OpEd: My Pink Panther Tattoo

    Cartoons are wonderful. Mother Culture feeds us various characters involved in outrageous situations.

  • OpEd: The Swinging Blue Jeans

    Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis patented their riveted design on May 20, 1873.

  • OpEd: Trans in the Workplace

    If you’re of a certain age, you’ll probably recognize the title of this column as the opening line of the theme song from the classic television comedy series “Cheers.” Even in the economic boom times of the 1990’s when “Cheers” was at the top of the television ratings, those words held a lot of resonance for many Americans, and that’s just as true today, especially if you happen to be transgender.

  • Oregon Creates First Liaison to Serve LGBT Vets

    An Oregon senator created a veterans liaison for the state’s LGBT veterans.