My HIV Diary: It’s All in My Stomach, Week 11
Ryan Dixon (a.k.a former porn star Kameron Scott) has started taking HIV medication. He’s keeping a diary of his experience.
Being in my mid-20’s isn’t easy, add HIV on top of that and we have one hell of a complicated life. I’m making the best out of the hand life has dealt me and the decisions I’ve made along the way. Writing helps free my mind. Hopefully these words will help you understand the plight of others like myself, and inspire you to live each and every day in the moment.
Week 11 (Nov. 10 – Nov. 15)
Half way through my third month on HIV medication and I’m feeling like I’m back at week one. I’ve been battling stomach issues so much the last week. I don’t know what is going on. I talked to my doctor over the phone, and he too is confused as to the reasons behind these stomach issues. He’s thinking to have me go and get tested for Crohn’s Disease. I told him that a sensitive stomach runs in the family. My mother, father and brother all have the same problems I do. No one has ever been tested or diagnosed with Crohn’s to my knowledge, so my doctor is siding with caution and having me tested.
I’ve had to miss work because of these issues and I find my productivity slipping. I’ve been so fatigued and dehydrated. The dehydration comes from constantly having to go to the bathroom, and not replenishing my liquids like I should be. The fatigue keeps me in bed when I’m not in the bathroom. I then have to push myself harder at work when I do feel up to par, just so I don’t fall behind on my assignments. I want work to be in the paper – what journalist doesn’t want to be in print? But, I’ve had to hold things off or completely disregard them because like my stomach, they’re time sensitive.
The only upside in all of this is that I’ve started dating someone. He’s also positive, so it’s nice to be in a relationship with someone and they know what you’re going through. He’s been very supportive the last week by putting up with my bitching about my stomach. I think most positive guys would roll their eyes and tell me to “suck it up,” but he’s had my back. It feels nice to finally feel like someone has my back. I know my friends have always been there for me, but never a boyfriend.
Being in a relationship with another positive person is a blessing – sort of. Yes, we can relate to each other on so many different levels, whether it is emotionally or physically. He’s the first person I’ve dated where I don’t have to worry about infecting him, but we still have to be careful since we’re on different medication. God forbid one of us develops a resistance to the other’s medicine. So while it relaxes things a little in how we will interact with each other, things could still get dicey.
On a brighter note, I deleted Grindr, Scruff and my Adam4Adam accounts. It felt really good to do that.