“Straight people: When did you realize you weren’t gay?” That’s the title of a Reddit forum question, and the answers are fantastic.
On Monday, May 26, Reddit user INGWR asked that question of the users of the site Reddit, known for its Democratic approach to the relevance of information. The post has near 5,000 comments as of press time.
We checked some of the answers to this question and picked out our favorite. Some are serious and others hilarious. Enjoy...
1. From mojavespider25:
I know a lot of the responses in this thread are jokes, but I honestly wasn't sure for a while in about 7th grade. It wasn't like I ever really liked boys, but everyone in my class thought I was gay, so it honestly made me question it myself. I was pretty sure I wasn't, but there was always a shadow of doubt until my junior year of high school when I got my first girlfriend. The first time I put my hand down her pants, I'm pretty sure that's when I knew the fuckers in my class were wrong. I was addicted.
EDIT: To flesh out the story a little more, I really think that this experience helped shape my sexuality in the long run and made me way more tolerant of all kinds of people. I now realize that sexuality is more of a spectrum than a black and white thing, I just happen to be pretty far toward the straight end of the spectrum. Going through that myself made me realize what people who actually are gay or lesbian go through and respect them all the more for it.
2. From shorthanded:
I think 90% of us always had the thought, "am I gay?"
But it would quickly go away when the girl you have a crush on walked by. I think that's a pretty telling sign.
Middle school was a fucking weird time. You were getting all these new emotions, and getting them hard. You start realizing that, yeah, you can tell when another guy is attractive, and that makes you wonder if you're gay - when you get older, you realize that it obviously doesn't, and it's almost laughable and childish. But back then, sexuality is a new, almost scary thing - inexperience breeds non-confidence, and how can you be sure if you haven't tried it?
Man, middle school is bizarre. Never again.
3. From kevonstonge:
I knew I wasn't gay when I first learned what being gay meant.
I always knew. I remember being in kindergarten wanting girls to touch my penis.
4. From Jyzz:
I have never ever been sexually attracted to another man, so there's that…
I have also made out with a couple of guys just to test (when I was drunk) and its just kinda like kissing a really really really ugly girl with a beard and/or sometimes a moustache.
5. From TessDevin:
Umm, actually... I thought I was gay for awhile, dated women for a couple years (I'm female) and then went back to men and now I've been dating men exclusively. I wouldn't be opposed to giving another woman a shot if I felt strongly about her, but when I picture my future it's with a man.
So, I realised I am mostly straight after exploring my options.
6. From TeslaBoyGangsta:
I never really thought about it til I was out dancing with some friends and when I went to the restroom a guy followed me in and propositioned me. I told him "I'm flattered but straight." That's when I knew for sure.
7. From IM_OK_AMA:
I had a relationship with a guy, discovered it wasn't my thing. Pretty pedestrian really.
Senior year of high school, I'd dated a few girls and definitely liked it, but when a gay guy started giving me attention I thought, "fuck it, why not?" I'd thought about it in a general sense and wanted to give it a shot, so this was my opportunity. We went on a bunch of dates over the span of a couple months, and got physical more than a few times. Ultimately I realized that while I liked getting off, and enjoyed hanging out, I wasn't really feeling the same way about him than I had my girlfriends, and didn't really see anything growing. He was super understanding, we remained great friends until he moved for college.
Like all my high school relationships, I appreciate it for what it taught me about myself. What I learned was that I don't develop romantic attraction for men, simple as that.
I'm probably a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey Scale. If the opportunity presented itself, I might hook up with a guy again, but it's not something I intentionally seek out.
8. From jpeezer1:
There is a single moment when I knew for sure.
I grew up around gay men. Many, many gay men. I always kind of wished to be gay. I knew I was straight but I thought that maybe I could be gay too, just like all the wonderful gay men in my life.
As I got older I wondered about this idea that we are all a little bit queer. I grew up in such a queer supportive environment and yet I am still a little put off by over gay sexuality. I wondered if this was just cultural conditioning or if I am actually far on the straight end of the spectrum.
So I am in college and I go out with some gay men friends. We were at a gay bar and I was getting hit on. Men were buying me drinks. It was incredible. I realized why it is fun for women to go out. I start dancing with this beautiful man. We are grinding and I am having fun but nothing sexual is happening. Then he bends forward and kisses my neck and I will never forget the smell of his hair. You know how smell can be so primal? It somehow gets past all those thinking parts of your brain and in an instant I knew that this masculine smell was just wrong for me. It was a powerful moment of clarity.