In Guns We Trust

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In the movie 'The Promised Land,’ set in rural Pennsylvania, there is a convenience store named Rob's Guns, Groceries, Guitars and Gas. The only thing missing to fully encompass the American culture is God.

It is not surprising that the flavor of the month’s legislation, gun control, has gone nowhere fast. Republicans love guns, Democrats like guns. And the NRA controls them both. Until this country comes up with an enraged grass-roots movement "a la" MADD we will continue to go our merry ways to the "sporting goods" store next door and stock up on baseball caps and AK47s.

Four dead in Benghazi call for endless Congressional hearings and apoplectic reports from Fox News. Twenty children slaughtered in a small-town school are quickly forgotten.

Gun owners often say: “People shouldn’t have to explain why we need guns other than owning them is a God-given right protected in the Constitution.” The absurdity of the statement is beyond the pale.

God never owned a gun, neither did Jesus, in fact I seem to remember Catholic nuns teaching me the Ten Commandments and one of them is "Thou Shall Not Kill.”  And of course this gun toting lunatic fringe is predictably anti-abortion (again the bipolar dichotomy), homophobic, racist, right-wingers who most likely do not believe in Darwin's theory of evolution either.

And that's ok because for those of us who are in favor of gun control Darwinism is really our best bet and perhaps only hope. Recent newspapers' reports from around the nation tell us why:

San Jose Mercury News:

An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Hickory Daily Record:

Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

The Indianapolis Star:

In Dunkirk IN. a man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed when the weapon discharged in his face. Investigators said Gregory Pryor, 19 was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

The Gainesville Sun

A man who tried to shoot a squirrel by taping a .40-caliber cartridge to a BB gun was hospitalized with shrapnel wounds after the cartridge exploded, Gainesville police reported.

Arkansas Democrat Gazette:

Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway.The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, after traveling approximately 20 miles, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

It can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.

He would make Charles Darwin smile. Pier Angelo


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