Column: Voulez-Vous Coucher A Vec Moi?

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Here we go again.

Monica Lewinsky is back in the news. Is it possible we cannot swat this annoying fly?

The little puppet of the Republican Party, "la femme fatal" of the never ending All American tragicomic soap opera, is popping up all over the news. Big surprise. After all Hillary Clinton is running for President and since her popularity is sky high the only way to bring her down is with the Monica heat seeking missile. Twenty years gone and we are still forced to visualize the hug, the blue dress, the cigar and the most famous BJ in history.

As if Bill Clinton had molested a minor instead of being just a reckless horny male relieving the stress of the presidency with a consenting infatuated intern star struck with the most powerful man on earth.

Fox News has a field day. Hours of "political" chatter worthy of The Enquirer.

I lack the mental energy and the stomach to endure what one could hardly call “news.” In this country we have two national obsessions: Jesus and Sex. On paper they are both beautiful things.

In reality their are both twisted and bastardized.

The U.S. has made up the idea that we are better and holier than thou and that men of power must be held to standards bordering sainthood.

Jimmy Carter got in troubled waters for even admitting that he “committed adultery in his heart many times.” By the way most hypocritical Republicans and sanctimonious Democrats went after Bill Clinton one would think the Office was exclusive to men of impeccable Faithfulness.

If that is the case we should make our Presidents not only Commanders in Chief but also Heads of the Church. Bill Clinton was caught with his pants down but no one can accuse him of the sin of hypocrisy. He never promised us a monogamist in the Rose Garden. How many family- values-preaching sinners are out there aspiring to higher office? The more pious the politician, the greater the hypocrisy.

We are a ridiculous and pathetic laughing stock. Those who are laughing louder than anybody else are the French.

Of course they have history on their side. Sex and power are an integral part of their culture. Napoleon loved his wife Josephine but he considered his many liaisons a legitimate perk of his position.

Felix Faure president of France from 1895 to 1899 died, in the presidential palace, at age 58, in the arms of his mistress after having taken a potent aphrodisiac.

Talk about fatal orgasm. Valerie Giscard d'Estaing, president from 1974 to 1981, in his first year in office totaled his Ferrari while fooling around with a woman not his wife. His presidency continued through 1981. It was also rumored that he had a fling with Princess Diana.

Francoise Mitterrand, president from 1981 to 1995, had a double life and a child out of wedlock during his tenure. His mistress, and mother of his daughter, attended his funeral along side his wife.

Jacques Chirac (1995-2007) had bountiful affairs while president. In the inner circles of the palace he was known as “five minutes, shower included.”

Nicolas Sarkozy (2007-2012) already divorced from his first wife, leaves his second a few months after being elected President and shortly after goes public about his relationship with an ex model. Not to be undone by his predecessors, the current president of France, Francois Hollande, follows the script and cheats on his wife with an actress 20 years his junior.

Either the French are oversexed or know how to enjoy themselves. Perhaps they just don't give a damn about what people think of their private lives. Obviously they would find something like the Defense of Marriage Act utterly ridiculous.

Luckily for them the media and the public lose interest very quickly. They are allowed to continue unscathed in doing what they are elected to do, running their country.

We instead cannot let go. We have to rehash every single detail,ad nauseam, even though Bill Clinton has left the White House eons ago. Doesn't Hillary Clinton have the right to leave the scandal behind and have her identity separate and distinct from her husband?

Good ole Monica says that she wants to “take on the shame game.” Hardly. She is giving Hillary's opponents, on both sides of the political spectrum, free ammunitions. They don't have to spend any energy, or suffer possible backlash, in reminding the voters of the seedier aspects of Bill Clinton's presidency.

And she can milk the public's sympathy by playing the role of former slut now in search of redemption. I am pretty sure that if she wasn't Jewish she would have, by now, found Jesus. I can hear Ken Starr giggle in the background.


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