As part of his continuing reign of ludicrous terror, Reverend Dr. James David Manning of New York City's anti-gay Anointed Holy Missionary Church (ATLAH) has "prognosticated" that Vladimir Putin will out President Barack Obama as gay, reports the U.K. newspaper, the Independent.
"One hundred days from this very hour... either Vladimir Putin himself or one of his assistants or someone with in the Russian government will call Mr. Long Legged Mac Daddy an outright gay, pervert, homosexual sodomite. This will happen within 100 days," said Manning in his YouTube series The Manning Report.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's a duck, says Manning, extrapolating that because Obama hasn't followed Putin's lead in passing legislation to legally harass and torture.
Manning also alleges Obama is gay because he owns a poodle, because of course all gays have poodles. Or how else would you know someone is gay?
"You'll see Mr. Putin on your left has a leopard and he's petting him, as in a petting zoo," said Manning, who has never obviously been to a petting zoo, which is full of baby goats and chicks, not man-eating leopards. "You'll notice that the Mac Daddy has a little, little poodle, a French poodle, and he's petting him. The animals of which these two men hold represents their sexual and their physical masculinity, and to some degree their integrity."
Manning also said that Obama was urged on to pass pro-gay legislation from his secret gay lover, American basketball player Reggie Love, his former body man. When Obama initially refused, said Manning, Love considered Obama a hypocrite. Later, in a bid to win back Love's love, said Manning, Obama agreed to "set the sodomites free."
So fueled by proof from the CIA, the Russians are getting ready to "dethrone America and become the world superpower" by letting everyone know that Obama is a gay. But it's a two-sided sword, Manning explains -- because Putin is also secretly gay.
"I want to tell you that Putin is a sodomite... he's just over-exaggerating himself. What other man would run around showing his physique all the time and flexing his muscles.... When you saw him sitting on that horse with no shirt on, he's appealing to Reggie Love!"
(Wow, that Reggie Love gets all the good world leaders... )
Although Manning makes a compelling point there, only time will tell. Check back in 100 days to witness the end of civilization as we know it. In the meantime, practice your Russian.
From our media partner EDGE